A Physically Inactive Man Who Lives in A Lovely House

I have been enjoying living in a tiny house in Bandung for almost four years now with my cousin. I don’t own it, though, this house belongs to my uncle who some years ago asked me to stay here and help him by paying all the bills while he’s enjoying his busy life in Jakarta. And me, enjoying my total freedom living in his house.

The house has Two small bedrooms, a tiny toilet, and one kitchen that doesn’t look like a place to cook food at all. Last time, when i cooked an instant noodle there, this stupid rat which i told you in previous post, had taken over the stove as its house. It surprised me by jumping out from inside the stove showing its anger face as if it tried to kill me because I’d overstepped its goddamn territory. The good news is. There’s no fighting. Just me screaming.

When I was still living in a “kos-kosan” – Living in a house with a bunch of friends. I had to wear headphones while watching porn. Now I can let the “oooh… aaaahh”s come out of the computer speakers echo throughout the room. The house is sound-proof. I’ve checked. Even now I can drink some dried tea that’s filtered by my underwear. Making tea that taste of your underwear symbolizes total freedom, somehow. It has delicious taste as well. I’m sure of it.

After years of being too physically inactive. Last Tuesday, I tried out the Fitness program on my game console at home. Now, I don’t even need to go to the gym anymore.

It’s a fun game on which you can rely on getting a full exercise plan prof instructors made just for you. Once you’ve installed the program, your first step is to set up a personal profile. It requires you to enter : Your heartbeat while resting, and after doing some jumps, squats, push-ups, and sit up. I hoped the best from this game to form my physical appearance. Therefore, I worked out for hours and then sweat like crazy pig.

After working out. I drank up my tea while laying down my bed. So, there’s a TV set placed directly in front of my bed. I usually watch news channels – just because, news is the only program I could watch on Indonesian TV channels. So-called infotainments had been accused by KPI (Indonesian Broadcasting Commision) for spreading false private life news to their viewers. And you know, making fun of old people has been the most non effective comedic techniques done by most of Indonesian TV channels nowadays and now they’re replacing funny clowns with poor “bule” travelers (“Caucasians”) who in urge to get some easy cash (to leave this country) by acting stupid and trying to make some jokes in Bahasa – which isn’t understandable. But i don’t care, I love watching foreigners humiliating themselves on national TV. It’s funny. While local TV dramas aren’t just abysmal, but they’re also capable on brainwashing audiences and turn them into a toad. I don’t want to be a toad. I rather be other animals with soft skin.

I was so tired from excessive work out and sleeping with the TV still turned on that night.

To cut a long story short. The next morning when I woke up. I couldn’t walk right. My thighs were too sore. The neck pain hadn’t subsided even a bit. I wanted to wear an old pair of jeans but my belly was barely fit in it. I couldn’t even sit properly. It’s useless. This time, i decide to keep a safe distance from that torturing game.

F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

—

Written : AP