A Life in Silence.

I love spending time alone… a bit too much, i think. It is scary to know how quickly time flies when i am in my room locked away from everybody – being left alone with my own thoughts. It is impossible to remember how many days went by this way. Whenever i am being in the state of seclusion I somehow feel so connected with myself, and for me, it feels like inhaling the same air that i breathe to keep me alive and sane.

People mistakenly think that my solitariness has something to do with me being an anti-social. Probably their assumptions are based on the facts that i tend to withdraw myself from any social gathering. i am not an anti social, i am not even shy.

It is just that i have a tendency of shrinking myself in social contact and enjoy being preoccupied with my own thought. It is also wrong to say that i do not adore the chaotic beauty of this world (can offer). But it is in the quiet spaces i feel my mind truly at its whole peace together again. Some people i know accused me of being too quiet and shy. Well, what they think is understandable. It is truly what i am – a reserved and a thoughtful individual. I actually feel so exhausted and drained when being in a large mass of rowdy gathering, in one environment, where everyone is so eager to speak nonsense about themselves, talking trash more often than two porn actors calling “Oh God” when they fuck. Because of this. I find the cancellation to social gathering is such a relief.

I understand, introversion can be a challenge sometimes. But it has nothing to do with the fairness in life. Life is fair already. It’s giving out its equal proportions to everybody. Like a mother slicing a cake in split evenly to the children. Introversion is my own way of coping with my life, and i cherish being one.

It is just, I hope that people know how it feels like to walk a mile in my shoes.

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AP